








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1098 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3873 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3289 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3115 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2473 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,998 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TILT | 52% | 50 |
| #8 | klabautermän ツ | 49% | 156 |
| #9 | eL sango | 46% | 91 |
| #10 | Gregodor | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | eNji | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klabautermän ツ | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Towliiee | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | dolän_plis kRRRRRR | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | eL sango | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | TILT | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🍄Alfi ✿☮ | +2.51 | 63 | 74 |
| #2 | dolän_plis kRRRRRR | +1.45 | 54 | 63 |
| #3 | Towliiee | +0.19 | 70 | 75 |
| #4 | klabautermän ツ | -0.28 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | TILT | -0.44 | 73 | 53 |





