








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 720 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 158 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10767 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9307 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10697 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 9726 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,594,218 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoB | 59% | 119 |
| #2 | Az | 56% | 186 |
| #3 | Schlitzbold | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | eNji | 55% | 88 |
| #5 | ⓇⒺⓏⓐ™ | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klabautermän ツ | 24 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | dolän_plis kRRRRRR | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | eL sango | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Az | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 🍄Alfi ✿☮ | 7 | 0.0019 |





