








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 301 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,950 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2513 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3117 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1833 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2649 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,085 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Javiera | 53% | 163 |
| #10 | loll1pop | 52% | 151 |
| #11 | Legolasse Berghagen | 51% | 200 |
| #12 | Prins Ali | 47% | 19 |
| #13 | Λ |Ralf | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legolasse Berghagen | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Javiera | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | g0L | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legolasse Berghagen | 871 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | g0L | 713 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | loll1pop | 439 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | Javiera | 427 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | firrelit0 | 376 | 0.16 | 10 min |





