










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 885 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1838 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1350 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,831 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beyondafx鬼 | 59% | 98 |
| #2 | esports bnok | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | saca | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | im sorry | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | HuggyBear | 12% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beyondafx鬼 | 59% | 98 |
| #2 | esports bnok | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | saca | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | im sorry | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | HuggyBear | 12% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beyondafx鬼 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | esports bnok | 3 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beyondafx鬼 | 155 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | saca | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | HuggyBear | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | im sorry | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | esports bnok | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beyondafx鬼 | +4.67 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | im sorry | +4.03 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | esports bnok | +3.28 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | saca | -1.18 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | cucumber moped | -1.65 | 61 | 52 |





