








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1374 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1922 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 587 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,812 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pingu - | 45% | 97 |
| #6 | J2xx | 45% | 141 |
| #7 | Johnny Bravo | 42% | 131 |
| #8 | katlamaja duo | 38% | 63 |
| #9 | BIND | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pingu - | 117 | 0.43 | 3 min |
| #2 | J2xx | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Johnny Bravo | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kardiin | 28 | 28.00 | 1 min |
| #5 | katlamaja duo | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |





