








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 628 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1165 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 662 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,617 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dowhyga | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Strale | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | kima | 79% | 14 |
| #4 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖊 ɢօɖ | 65% | 43 |
| #5 | nijeCava | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖊 ɢօɖ | 65% | 43 |
| #5 | nijeCava | 57% | 42 |
| #6 | GiornoGOD iwnl | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | co@ | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | ChodaNinja | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖊 ɢօɖ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | nijeCava | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | kima | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Strale | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | dowhyga | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nijeCava | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖊 ɢօɖ | 63 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | GiornoGOD iwnl | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | kima | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ChodaNinja | 28 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dowhyga | +3.33 | 51 | 40 |
| #2 | Rico | +2.70 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | kima | +0.46 | 39 | 46 |
| #4 | GiornoGOD iwnl | +0.17 | 56 | 43 |
| #5 | 𝕯𝖊𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖊 ɢօɖ | -0.08 | 73 | 61 |





