








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 842 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4567 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8425 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 3157 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3398 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,987,428 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | co@ | 50% | 143 |
| #2 | Strale | 49% | 136 |
| #3 | ChodaNinja | 46% | 212 |
| #4 | Laki© | 44% | 98 |
| #5 | DuDa | 37% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | co@ | 50% | 143 |
| #2 | Strale | 49% | 136 |
| #3 | ChodaNinja | 46% | 212 |
| #4 | Laki© | 44% | 98 |
| #5 | DuDa | 37% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | co@ | 24 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | ChodaNinja | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Strale | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Laki© | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | DuDa | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChodaNinja | 360 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | co@ | 266 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Laki© | 175 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Strale | 147 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | DuDa | 102 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laki© | +4.11 | 70 | 36 |
| #2 | co@ | +1.61 | 44 | 53 |
| #3 | DuDa | +0.37 | 52 | 40 |
| #4 | ChodaNinja | -0.13 | 37 | 35 |
| #5 | nijeCava | -0.71 | 24 | 45 |





