








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1654 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1373 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2474 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2039 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,639 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 846 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | well adjusted member of society | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | skippy (new gf / well adjusted) | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | hydroking | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | evoL-_ | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | paulieg | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | skippy (new gf / well adjusted) | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | hydroking | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | evoL-_ | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | paulieg | 52% | 48 |
| #6 | kanopy | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippy (new gf / well adjusted) | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | hydroking | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | paulieg | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hydroking | 119 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | kanopy | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | evoL-_ | 61 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | well adjusted member of society | 60 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | paulieg | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippy (new gf / well adjusted) | +2.18 | 75 | 43 |
| #2 | H8R | +0.42 | 71 | 41 |
| #3 | kanopy | +0.29 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | well adjusted member of society | +0.22 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | hydroking | +0.06 | 59 | 54 |





