








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1152 | 36% |
| Smokes | 944 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 382 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,765 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut appreciator | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | fox | 82% | 17 |
| #3 | Zachyy | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | goosesmitty | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | scar | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | pkl321 | 57% | 35 |
| #11 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | hart | 45% | 11 |
| #13 | tehk_ | 42% | 12 |
| #14 | tropical sheep | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaCK-ar | 3 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | pkl321 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ducky | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Zachyy | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | fred28 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pkl321 | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | fox | 66 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | fred28 | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | WaCK-ar | 55 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | ducky | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tehk_ | +4.80 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | goosesmitty | +2.42 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | sorairo | +2.10 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | tropical sheep | +2.08 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | scar | +1.52 | 83 | 54 |





