








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1236 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1007 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 912 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 973 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,007 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 620 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kabilla | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | sora | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Desingerica | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Saint | 40% | 120 |
| #5 | Beanie | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kabilla | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | sora | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Desingerica | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Saint | 40% | 120 |
| #5 | Beanie | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saint | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Beanie | 3 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | Kabilla | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Desingerica | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saint | 289 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kabilla | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Beanie | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | sora | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Desingerica | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kabilla | +3.24 | 62 | 55 |
| #2 | Beanie | +2.10 | 47 | 61 |
| #3 | Desingerica | +0.03 | 52 | 27 |
| #4 | Saint | -1.30 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | Mr. Hugh Jass | -2.44 | 18 | 51 |





