








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1522 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1917 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1595 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,121,098 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sussy | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Abu Musab al-Zarqawi | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | Grimby Timbulten | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | azro | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | Munk17 | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sussy | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Abu Musab al-Zarqawi | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | Grimby Timbulten | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | azro | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | Munk17 | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Musab al-Zarqawi | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | azro | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Munk17 | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Sussy | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Grimby Timbulten | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimby Timbulten | 135 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | azro | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Munk17 | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sussy | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Abu Musab al-Zarqawi | 40 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munk17 | +4.73 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | Sussy | +3.40 | 66 | 43 |
| #3 | Lil Chucky | +1.10 | 55 | 49 |
| #4 | Grimby Timbulten | +0.79 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | azro | -0.15 | 55 | 57 |





