








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 469 | 19% |
| Smokes | 579 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 850 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,552 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cal :( | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Burnt The Bean | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Odesza | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Daniel - Дэниел | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnt The Bean | 90 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cal :( | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Odesza | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chair | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Daniel - Дэниел | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cal :( | +4.07 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Burnt The Bean | +0.49 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | Odesza | +0.17 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Daniel - Дэниел | -0.07 | 36 | 51 |
| #5 | DangerBoy Kirk | -1.16 | 56 | 54 |





