








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 18% |
| Smokes | 466 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 486 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 449 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,436 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valkyrie | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Shinoシ | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Animigo Newark | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Sparrow | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valkyrie | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Shinoシ | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Animigo Newark | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Sparrow | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shinoシ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shinoシ | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sparrow | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Valkyrie | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Animigo Newark | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shinoシ | +1.69 | 64 | 63 |
| #2 | Wafflez | +0.35 | 77 | 43 |
| #3 | Valkyrie | -0.57 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | Sparrow | -1.43 | 25 | 56 |
| #5 | Animigo Newark | -2.47 | 59 | 45 |





