








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,706 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 420 | 27% |
| Smokes | 380 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 345 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,037 of utility $323 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _init | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Lådde | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Göösey | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Nequam | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Maxaki | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | debban | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | [NAJTSNACK]STABBE | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | ✪ Soleif | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | Λ |Ralf | 20% | 5 |
| #13 | emalit | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maxaki | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Göösey | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | emalit | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eliberate | 183 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Maxaki | 139 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Göösey | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | debban | 19 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Λ |Ralf | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maxaki | +5.31 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | _init | +1.97 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | eliberate | +1.74 | 64 | 86 |
| #4 | Λ |Ralf | +1.50 | 72 | 72 |
| #5 | Nequam | -0.59 | 69 | 61 |





