








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 751 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3563 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6247 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4162 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5663 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,590,722 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im a Victim | 49% | 305 |
| #2 | d e v v .xi | 44% | 136 |
| #3 | blaze-_o | 40% | 57 |
| #4 | morEz | 38% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im a Victim | 49% | 305 |
| #2 | d e v v .xi | 44% | 136 |
| #3 | blaze-_o | 40% | 57 |
| #4 | morEz | 38% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im a Victim | 35 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | d e v v .xi | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | blaze-_o | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | morEz | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im a Victim | 648 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | d e v v .xi | 329 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | morEz | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | blaze-_o | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TG4M | +1.13 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Im a Victim | +0.12 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | morEz | -0.32 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | d e v v .xi | -1.30 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | blaze-_o | -1.55 | 34 | 61 |





