








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1029 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 678 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




194 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2494 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4982 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3328 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4337 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,678,376 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | Womp Womp | 50% | 387 |
| #3 | ChrisJ | 49% | 111 |
| #4 | xX_VaPor☁PepZi_Xx | 48% | 329 |
| #5 | Eh | 46% | 542 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Womp Womp | 50% | 387 |
| #3 | ChrisJ | 49% | 111 |
| #4 | xX_VaPor☁PepZi_Xx | 48% | 329 |
| #5 | Eh | 46% | 542 |
| #6 | Private #ONLYLOSE | 46% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Womp Womp | 90 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Eh | 66 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | xX_VaPor☁PepZi_Xx | 60 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | ChrisJ | 27 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | L | 16 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Womp Womp | 1801 | 0.22 | 53 min |
| #2 | Private #ONLYLOSE | 371 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | xX_VaPor☁PepZi_Xx | 339 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | ChrisJ | 328 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Eh | 288 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oh | +2.72 | 76 | 46 |
| #2 | Womp Womp | +2.27 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | ChrisJ | +1.83 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | L | +0.20 | 35 | 47 |
| #5 | Private #ONLYLOSE | -0.37 | 50 | 53 |





