








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 487 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4395 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5854 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4153 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4458 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,533,587 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MadisKalmer | 47% | 183 |
| #7 | kRIISTer | 46% | 54 |
| #8 | ✪ kraM | 46% | 386 |
| #9 | Paju | 44% | 68 |
| #10 | Rosa Percz | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MadisKalmer | 23 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | ✪ kraM | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | andr3w | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Tupsik | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Mr Crisper | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kraM | 1232 | 0.15 | 33 min |
| #2 | MadisKalmer | 853 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #3 | Mr Crisper | 314 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tupsik | 198 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | andr3w | 159 | 0.12 | 4 min |





