








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4279 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3159 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 334 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 3483 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,153,170 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ĐŘỴԳŽΣ | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Kyle | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | RBL | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | DIE_SPONSIE | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | Gav | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToxicTwistXIII | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Kyle | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ĐŘỴԳŽΣ | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | impi | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Gav | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToxicTwistXIII | 323 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Gav | 211 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kyle | 187 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | impi | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | DIE_SPONSIE | 148 | 0.09 | 3 min |





