








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3146 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2426 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3566 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3157 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,232,462 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | 가필드 | 58% | 198 |
| #15 | WaNe | 58% | 26 |
| #16 | ZIYU | 58% | 33 |
| #17 | Yujeong-bro | 55% | 83 |
| #18 | BLACK MAN! | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jin | 621 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | 가필드 | 365 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | MrBrightSide | 306 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | 골골 | 175 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Summer | 175 | 0.26 | 3 min |





