








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3411 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4744 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3548 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2934 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,715 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 607 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKL. | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | FreezyBonsai | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Eadu | 55% | 184 |
| #4 | Cupapi Munanyo | 55% | 146 |
| #5 | MaihoSalat | 54% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Müran Marxisthahn | 464 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Alkan Alkhahn | 396 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Eadu | 310 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Cupapi Munanyo | 256 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | MaihoSalat | 147 | 0.06 | 3 min |





