








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4291 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2767 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1079 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2879 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,902 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | train molly enjoyer | 63% | 54 |
| #2 | Bewgz | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | anti parazi | 57% | 177 |
| #4 | ron | 52% | 242 |
| #5 | turb | 51% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ron | 52% | 242 |
| #5 | turb | 51% | 181 |
| #6 | kicker | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | Rezley Snipes | 49% | 89 |
| #8 | JKR. | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ron | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | turb | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | anti parazi | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Rezley Snipes | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | JKR. | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ron | 866 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | anti parazi | 493 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | turb | 312 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | train molly enjoyer | 149 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rezley Snipes | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anti parazi | +2.26 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | ron | +1.42 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | turb | -0.23 | 80 | 52 |
| #4 | DONNIEDARKO | -0.28 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | JKR. | -0.67 | 80 | 72 |





