








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1372 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1364 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 887 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 876 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,875 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | AddyMan | 60% | 146 |
| #3 | shmoe | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | XXRAZZ | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | fishladder | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | AddyMan | 60% | 146 |
| #3 | shmoe | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | XXRAZZ | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | fishladder | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fishladder | 13 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | AddyMan | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | milk | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AddyMan | 256 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | fishladder | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | shmoe | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | milk | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | XXRAZZ | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | +5.31 | 85 | 22 |
| #2 | AddyMan | +2.59 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | Dev | +1.84 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | fishladder | +0.21 | 54 | 44 |
| #5 | shmoe | -1.37 | 75 | 50 |





