








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2908 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2416 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1940 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2148 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $403,342 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | STOLATO | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | XtenSiv^ | 72% | 29 |
| #4 | Chouby | 70% | 123 |
| #5 | Lan0`k F/A | 69% | 49 |
| #6 | NLG06 | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chouby | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | NLG06 | 4 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | STOLATO | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Lan0`k F/A | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lan0`k F/A | 294 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | Chouby | 161 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | XtenSiv^ | 74 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | STOLATO | 56 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | NLG06 | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chouby | +2.44 | 76 | 52 |
| #2 | Lan0`k F/A | +2.06 | 90 | 78 |
| #3 | wankyy | +1.56 | 84 | 74 |
| #4 | XtenSiv^ | +0.82 | 82 | 51 |
| #5 | STOLATO | -0.21 | 88 | 64 |





