








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3731 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4130 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2216 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2892 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,221,214 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 577 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cokes | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | Komea | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | TeeJay | 47% | 192 |
| #7 | MIBAC | 46% | 124 |
| #8 | Louie | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeeJay | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Louie | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | MyNameIsCetrix | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Cetrix | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | MIBAC | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cetrix | 1084 | 0.28 | 28 min |
| #2 | MyNameIsCetrix | 578 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #3 | TeeJay | 336 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Louie | 260 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | MIBAC | 179 | 0.07 | 5 min |





