








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1347 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1307 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,720 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camo Condom Schwager | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | FreakMediaLP | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | LittleDeadli | 50% | 158 |
| #4 | ‡24‡ | 48% | 134 |
| #5 | ares | 47% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ares | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | FreakMediaLP | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Panzerfreak_malte2 | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | LittleDeadli | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ‡24‡ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ares | +4.50 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Camo Condom Schwager | +3.69 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | ‡24‡ | +0.90 | 62 | 55 |
| #4 | Camo Condom Boy | +0.68 | 43 | 63 |
| #5 | Sir-MLGRick | +0.38 | 27 | 32 |





