








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8286 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5475 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3321 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4753 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,859 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volgaar | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | ElouanR | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | FuriousTCO | 49% | 146 |
| #4 | Scallywag | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | Quentinho | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -newQUAN667 | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Quentinho | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | FuriousTCO | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Lesio | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Scallywag | 3 | 0.0029 |





