








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1955 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1675 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1984 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2066 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,632,857 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitty | 1292 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | SwiftBreeze | 200 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | seotron | 116 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dumpster Dave | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | U Got That?!?!?! | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dumpster Dave | +3.64 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | SwiftBreeze | +2.41 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | Kitty | +2.23 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | seotron | +1.40 | 57 | 46 |
| #5 | U Got That?!?!?! | +0.11 | 17 | 59 |





