








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1533 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1838 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3563 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3365 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $732,532 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jev | 49% | 37 |
| #2 | Goldbar | 47% | 319 |
| #3 | Rat | 45% | 62 |
| #4 | Tang | 45% | 78 |
| #5 | zigthegoat | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tang | 45% | 78 |
| #5 | zigthegoat | 38% | 34 |
| #6 | Fresh Shawty | 38% | 34 |
| #7 | Metro | 38% | 21 |
| #8 | Ricko | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goldbar | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Rat | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Tang | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Ricko | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Jev | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goldbar | 953 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Rat | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tang | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | zigthegoat | 104 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jev | 93 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goldbar | +2.42 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Tang | +2.25 | 95 | 54 |
| #3 | zigthegoat | +0.77 | 83 | 67 |
| #4 | Jev | +0.59 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Fresh Shawty | -0.72 | 52 | 41 |





