








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1085 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 305 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6491 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7407 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3937 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6194 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,385,089 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 662 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staples | 82% | 99 |
| #2 | Saintpaul ✟ | 70% | 202 |
| #3 | walle | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | NATO | 63% | 296 |
| #5 | ᴟu- | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | buceta marginal | 60% | 351 |
| #7 | UnnTiL | 59% | 155 |
| #8 | SL_M | 56% | 326 |
| #9 | mAn0 | 50% | 111 |
| #10 | Pak-Eca | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buceta marginal | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Saintpaul ✟ | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | SL_M | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | mAn0 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | NATO | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buceta marginal | 1255 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Saintpaul ✟ | 755 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | NATO | 665 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #4 | SL_M | 468 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | UnnTiL | 468 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staples | +3.32 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | Saintpaul ✟ | +2.97 | 86 | 75 |
| #3 | Shr1mple 🦐 | +2.82 | 83 | 79 |
| #4 | NATO | +0.40 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | buceta marginal | +0.30 | 66 | 67 |





