








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 647 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11729 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8875 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8628 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9031 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,838,673 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SL_M | 51% | 680 |
| #8 | walle | 50% | 112 |
| #9 | ᴟu- | 49% | 63 |
| #10 | mAn0 | 45% | 276 |
| #11 | Pak-Eca | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SL_M | 21 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Saintpaul ✟ | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Shr1mple 🦐 | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | mAn0 | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | walle | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1mple 🦐 | 1395 | 0.19 | 40 min |
| #2 | SL_M | 1038 | 0.07 | 25 min |
| #3 | UnnTiL | 878 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #4 | NATO | 755 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #5 | mAn0 | 590 | 0.10 | 13 min |





