








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1130 | 46% |
| Smokes | 426 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 325 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,226 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bane of anthropods iv | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | BigChedder | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | OHMZ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | teri_360☢ | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | modz | 60% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | OHMZ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | teri_360☢ | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | modz | 60% | 57 |
| #6 | MentalMike | 51% | 35 |
| #7 | Burns | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | modz | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | MentalMike | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | BigChedder | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bane of anthropods iv | 148 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | MentalMike | 130 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | modz | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | BigChedder | 35 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Burns | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | modz | +7.31 | 88 | 38 |
| #2 | teri_360☢ | +3.61 | 75 | 16 |
| #3 | Burns | +2.14 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | BigChedder | +0.73 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | bane of anthropods iv | -0.52 | 52 | 61 |





