








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 189 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4737 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2800 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2418 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2725 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,595 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 53% | 215 |
| #2 | failcrab | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | groovin | 43% | 28 |
| #4 | donut | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | diu | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 53% | 215 |
| #2 | failcrab | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | groovin | 43% | 28 |
| #4 | donut | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | diu | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | donut | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | groovin | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | diu | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 967 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | failcrab | 191 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | groovin | 142 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | diu | 127 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | donut | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | failcrab | +2.58 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Noname | +1.28 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | diu | +0.60 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | groovin | +0.25 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | donut | -0.03 | 73 | 58 |





