








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 234 | 16% |
| Smokes | 419 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 397 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 401 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,386 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mythix | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | tvs | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | zenta | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | godkU | 100% | 5 |
| #5 | kas ♥ [s] | 89% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | entz | 85% | 27 |
| #9 | snowieee | 80% | 5 |
| #10 | wazz1 | 75% | 4 |
| #11 | shateri | 63% | 8 |
| #12 | relax | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | relax | 9 | 0.0307 |
| #2 | godkU | 2 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | kas ♥ [s] | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | oskvr | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | wazz1 | 1 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | entz | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | relax | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | jeyN | 25 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | shateri | 21 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | godkU | 20 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeyN | +4.62 | 96 | 57 |
| #2 | kas ♥ [s] | +3.92 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | tvs | +3.90 | 57 | 54 |
| #4 | entz | +3.79 | 93 | 62 |
| #5 | zenta | +2.53 | 80 | 29 |





