








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4234 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3781 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2553 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3019 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $907,090 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAEPE | 80% | 25 |
| #2 | hhh | 75% | 40 |
| #3 | kazuten56 | 71% | 48 |
| #4 | raW | 69% | 218 |
| #5 | Jubileu | 66% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raW | 44 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | dattebayo | 35 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Jubileu | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | hhh | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | kazuten56 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raW | 802 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | dattebayo | 634 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Jubileu | 359 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | kazuten56 | 191 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | hhh | 139 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAEPE | +4.47 | 90 | 78 |
| #2 | raW | +4.38 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | OG | +3.70 | 90 | 58 |
| #4 | kazuten56 | +1.08 | 86 | 58 |
| #5 | dattebayo | +0.29 | 85 | 52 |





