










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1778 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1666 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2495 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1607 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,858 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kamikazics | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | GuessWho_Reborn | 52% | 128 |
| #5 | VapiiDw0w~ | 51% | 241 |
| #6 | 4GRessive | 49% | 127 |
| #7 | Chester_Lo | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VapiiDw0w~ | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | q | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | 4GRessive | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | GuessWho_Reborn | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | q | 276 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | 4GRessive | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | VapiiDw0w~ | 146 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | GuessWho_Reborn | 139 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | kamikazics | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VapiiDw0w~ | +2.18 | 82 | 47 |
| #2 | M1Kɘe | +0.08 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | GuessWho_Reborn | -0.03 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | q | -1.31 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | kamikazics | -1.49 | 63 | 51 |





