








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1487 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 717 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 855 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,359 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaba[2.6] | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Moratar | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Sasu | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Fama | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Lamppu | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rh1rple | 293 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Fama | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jaba[2.6] | 57 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | villxp™ | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bobi | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sasu | +3.33 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Moratar | +1.98 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | Fama | +1.53 | 40 | 62 |
| #4 | Bobi | +1.32 | 48 | 74 |
| #5 | Jaba[2.6] | +1.31 | 52 | 71 |





