








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1207 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1471 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1468 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1597 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,384 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J e n n a 0 1 | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Jokeripokeri | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | Lamppu | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Moratar | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | rh1rple | 45% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rh1rple | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Moratar | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Jokeripokeri | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Bobi | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Lamppu | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rh1rple | 440 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Moratar | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jokeripokeri | 86 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jaba[2.6] | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bobi | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sasu | +3.23 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | Moratar | +1.88 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | Jokeripokeri | +0.61 | 38 | 56 |
| #4 | Fama | +0.60 | 38 | 62 |
| #5 | Jaba[2.6] | +0.37 | 59 | 71 |





