








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1383 | 39% |
| Smokes | 734 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 711 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,136 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stnapyldaed | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | Jake ツ | 71% | 105 |
| #3 | storm | 70% | 47 |
| #4 | ... | 61% | 101 |
| #5 | Ssp | 56% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ... | +5.82 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | stnapyldaed | +2.86 | 67 | 37 |
| #3 | maxhansson | +2.33 | 69 | 42 |
| #4 | Jake ツ | -0.54 | 53 | 47 |
| #5 | storm | -0.91 | 48 | 54 |





