








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 573 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1724 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3462 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4953 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6656 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,454 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwv | 861 | 0.30 | 23 min |
| #2 | Azza | 266 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Texet_Trust | 185 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Markow | 177 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Becca | 151 | 0.09 | 4 min |





