








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1271 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2174 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1522 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1875 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,073 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kansasmeister <3 Ukraine | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | HeheXD | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Washed up G | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Kane- | 47% | 153 |
| #5 | The Dyche | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kansasmeister <3 Ukraine | +4.10 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | The Dyche | +3.35 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | HeheXD | +2.10 | 89 | 53 |
| #4 | THE DRIP EMPEROR | +2.01 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | Washed up G | +1.72 | 66 | 62 |





