








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1946 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 764 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1362 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,008 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scufxzy | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | INACTIVE | 57% | 69 |
| #3 | JuL | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | haptiiC | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | niB | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scufxzy | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | INACTIVE | 57% | 69 |
| #3 | JuL | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | haptiiC | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | niB | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | INACTIVE | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Scufxzy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | INACTIVE | 335 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Scufxzy | 244 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | JuL | 112 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | haptiiC | 94 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | niB | 23 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bituin | +3.47 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | haptiiC | +1.90 | 60 | 66 |
| #3 | Scufxzy | +1.60 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | niB | -0.29 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | INACTIVE | -1.73 | 56 | 55 |





