








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 195 | 34% |
| Smokes | 157 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 109 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $41,624 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UTELIGGER | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Sjef | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | BrAuN*/ | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | crezt | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | morty | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BrAuN*/ | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | crezt | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | morty | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | dashie :> | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | Ionic | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crezt | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | morty | 27 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sjef | 5 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | dashie :> | 4 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | BrAuN*/ | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UTELIGGER | +3.78 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | Sjef | +2.04 | 61 | 76 |
| #3 | OakFart The Whistleblower | +0.44 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | dashie :> | -1.28 | 65 | 83 |
| #5 | crezt | -1.69 | 70 | 67 |





