








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1031 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3879 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3815 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4163 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3234 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,817,895 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 496 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th1me | 273 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | arttU | 259 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | TanK | 216 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Teletubby | 167 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Oke666 | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |





