








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 960 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3224 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3894 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2632 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2304 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,348,753 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вэ.ωατэя | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | James #xBot | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Mixery | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | cyngee | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Hytroxツ | 2 | 0.0014 |





