








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 175 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1445 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1073 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1465 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1314 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,891 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ ✪ eXerZ *Hyperx *Benq | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | MagmaKing | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | s1mon | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Karpiu | 51% | 163 |
| #5 | Jewerlis | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | s1mon | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Karpiu | 51% | 163 |
| #5 | Jewerlis | 49% | 78 |
| #6 | Bani | 40% | 50 |
| #7 | danceindream | 29% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karpiu | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Bani | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Jewerlis | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ♛ ✪ eXerZ *Hyperx *Benq | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | MagmaKing | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewerlis | 228 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | ♛ ✪ eXerZ *Hyperx *Benq | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Karpiu | 148 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | MagmaKing | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | s1mon | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karpiu | +2.07 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | ♛ ✪ eXerZ *Hyperx *Benq | +1.25 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | Viest | +0.58 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | s1mon | -0.29 | 90 | 63 |
| #5 | MagmaKing | -0.86 | 63 | 65 |





