








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 717 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 835 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1345 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1485 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1006 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,843 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viest | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | Jewerlis | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Karpiu | 51% | 119 |
| #4 | s1mon | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viest | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | Jewerlis | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Karpiu | 51% | 119 |
| #4 | s1mon | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karpiu | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Viest | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jewerlis | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viest | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Karpiu | 98 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jewerlis | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | s1mon | 21 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karpiu | +1.44 | 76 | 43 |
| #2 | ♛ ✪ eXerZ *Hyperx *Benq | +1.05 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | Viest | +0.61 | 68 | 50 |
| #4 | s1mon | -1.08 | 87 | 63 |
| #5 | Jewerlis | -3.94 | 28 | 63 |





