








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1028 | 29% |
| Smokes | 932 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 986 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,816 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Sayu | 39% | 18 |
| #18 | iGorestep | 39% | 18 |
| #19 | bashful kitten | 36% | 36 |
| #20 | Pandaabear | 33% | 12 |
| #21 | BabyCoon | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiq | 18 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | iGorestep | 7 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | bashful kitten | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Rektbaka | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Albert Norton | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rektbaka | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Albert Norton | 59 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pandaabear | 59 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | smiq | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pasta | 45 | 0.24 | 1 min |





