








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4023 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2672 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2348 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2368 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,847 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | svN- | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Aston | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | rdX | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Moritz | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | Bobb Tschigerillo | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | svN- | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Aston | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | rdX | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Moritz | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | Bobb Tschigerillo | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aston | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Moritz | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aston | 282 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | Moritz | 211 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bobb Tschigerillo | 75 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | svN- | 66 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | rdX | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | svN- | +3.27 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | Aston | +2.92 | 93 | 73 |
| #3 | Moritz | +0.82 | 60 | 68 |
| #4 | max | -0.28 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Bobb Tschigerillo | -0.50 | 56 | 74 |





