










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 622 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1459 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1641 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 812 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,060,420 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eternalz | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | CoN3Jo'# | 48% | 147 |
| #3 | .sql | 47% | 79 |
| #4 | Damsensen | 47% | 124 |
| #5 | C'est pas faux | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | .sql | 47% | 79 |
| #4 | Damsensen | 47% | 124 |
| #5 | C'est pas faux | 43% | 53 |
| #6 | STRONK | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | Smack | 30% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoN3Jo'# | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | .sql | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | C'est pas faux | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Smack | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Damsensen | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoN3Jo'# | 463 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | .sql | 318 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | Damsensen | 172 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | C'est pas faux | 159 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Smack | 96 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C'est pas faux | +0.96 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | Eternalz | +0.47 | 56 | 73 |
| #3 | CoN3Jo'# | +0.31 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | .sql | +0.21 | 63 | 75 |
| #5 | Damsensen | -0.01 | 67 | 72 |





