










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3236 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2698 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1593 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2386 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,713 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 570 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C'est pas faux | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | CoN3Jo'# | 53% | 105 |
| #3 | Damsensen | 52% | 75 |
| #4 | Scott Braham | 47% | 79 |
| #5 | Smack | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C'est pas faux | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | CoN3Jo'# | 53% | 105 |
| #3 | Damsensen | 52% | 75 |
| #4 | Scott Braham | 47% | 79 |
| #5 | Smack | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C'est pas faux | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | CoN3Jo'# | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Damsensen | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoN3Jo'# | 354 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Damsensen | 110 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | C'est pas faux | 110 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Scott Braham | 86 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Smack | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C'est pas faux | +1.11 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Damsensen | +0.39 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | CoN3Jo'# | +0.04 | 64 | 73 |
| #4 | .sql | -0.18 | 64 | 74 |
| #5 | Scott Braham | -0.96 | 26 | 58 |





